"Tear down this wall!"

There's been quite a bit of attention focused on America's "illegal immigration problem" recently. A few states have even declared "emergencies" in order to fight immigration with federal dollars. In Arizona, some "officials" believe 1,000 people illegally cross the Mexican/American border every day.

Yeah, so what? We live in a country that was built upon the strong backs of immigrants -- illegal or otherwise. I'm tired of hearing commentators or "officials" or politicians or my barber deride these desperate and daring people -- willing to put their lives on the line to make a better life. The problem with these nay-sayers is that they focus on the "jobs" and "safety" that illegal immigration "supposedly" takes away from us and they've forgotten what illegal immigration has given us. Without the fence-jumping daredevils, my friends, I'm sorry to say we wouldn't have much in the way of entertainment here in the good ole U.S. of A!

Name: Wayne Gretzky
Illegal From: Canada
Method: Down on his luck and unable to get across the border, Wayne meets a beautiful figure skater who just happens to need a partner. He needs to learn finesse and she needs to learn to have some patience, but they end up teaching each other. Wayne is later smuggled into the U.S. in the false floor of his partner's 1980 Volkswagen Beetle.

Name: Gloria Estefan
Illegal From: Cuba
Method: In May 1980, Fidel Castro opened the harbor at Mariel, Cuba, with the apparent intention of letting some of his people join their relatives in the US. Within 72 hours, 300 US boats were headed for Cuba. It soon became evident that Castro was forcing the boat owners to carry back with them not only their relatives, but the dregs of his jails. Of the 125,000 refugees that landed in Florida, an estimated 25,000 had criminal records. Of the 25,000, Gloria was one.

Name: Iman (a.k.a. Kola Boof)
Illegal From: Somalia
Method: Kola lured a UNICEF worker, Iman Figowitz, out into the ocean in a rowboat and beat her senseless with an oar. Kola then stole the woman's clothes, passport, and identity.


Name: Ricardo Montalban
Illegal From: Fantasy Island
Method: After the death of a high powered investment banker at his, "resort," Ricardo flees to the U.S. on "de plane." He's reported to have settled in DC, among a burgeoning Latino population.


So, the next time you're at a dinner party and you hear someone lamenting the state of the "immigration problem," stand up, point a finger right in their face, and shout: "Hey! That's Wayne Gretzky you're talking about! I know Wayne Gretzky. Wayne Gretzky is a friend of mine -- a great American. You, sir, are no Wayne Gretzky." Then, stomp out, go home, and watch a movie/music video/tv show/sporting event featuring any one of our famous illegally immigrated Americans.