An Open Letter to Everyone from the North that is Living in the South Voluntarily

I heard you the first 5,000 times when you complained about people in the south “not knowing how to deal with snow” and how “people from the north just deal with this shit so much better.” First of all, fuck you, you don’t, and unless people from the north have snow plows growing from their asses, they don’t either.

Listen, asshole.

There are FEWER PLOWS IN THE SOUTH and FEWER PEOPLE TO DO IT because IT DOESN’T FUCKING SNOW THAT MUCH. That’s like saying—“oh, we deal so much better with homicide in New York…fucking southerners don’t know how to MAIM.” I’m not one to ride the whole “southerners aren’t bad people just because of slavery” train. I mean seriously, fuck ‘em. But if it’s such a fucking problem, DON’T LIVE HERE because I don’t want to hear your shit anymore.

Also…which one of you assholes nominated Romney?