Bosom Buddies
From the people that brought you all the other inane news of today, comes a report that Tom Hanks has been named the most trustworthy celebrity in Hollywood. According to Forbes, Mr. Hanks was selected from a list of 1,500 celebrities—a list that actually included Ron Howard.
Ron Howard?
Really?
I’d like to see this list, because I bet it doesn’t include Steven Seagal. I LOVE Steven Seagal. I TRUST Steven Seagal. Would Tom Hanks even know what to do in a terrorist situation?
Terrorist: On your knees, or we’re blowing up the building!
Tom Hanks: But I have to deliver this package!
Terrorist: I said on your knees!!
Tom Hanks: WAIT a minute! Which one of you assholes stole my volley ball? Where’s Wilson? WHAT DID YOU ASSHOLES DO WITH WILSON?
Really, America? We trust a man that acted opposite a volley ball, but we don’t trust the man that starred in movies with titles like Half Past Dead and Today You Die? Sounds a little fucked up to me.
posted by M. @ 9:30 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
One time, I owed The Government a lot of money (a LOT). I went in the Government office and said, "look, I'm good for it." The Government just kind of looked at me, blank-like. Then I pulled out a promissory note that was notarized by Steven Seagal. The Government was then all "oh, ok... yeah, take the time you need -- we TRUST him."
I mean, that's just a personal anecdote, but it is TRUE.
Other people i trust: Phylicia Rashad, Marc Summers, and that other kid from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Kudos m! Given all the attention received by Chuck Norris lately, I'm glad you gave SS the recognition he deserves.
But who would win in a fight? Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal? I can't imagine the pony tail would pull it out . . .
Chuck Norris is basically the biggest pussy I know. One time, I was in NYC and I saw him at a hot dog stand and the vender didn't have any relish. Chuck started crying! Openly weeping, right there in the city of grit.
Chuck Norris: Giant Puss
Hey, was just wondering if you guys know me from anywhere. Do you guys know me in real life?
Appreciate the love on my blog.
--Paul.
Norris or Seagal? Come on. Obviously, Seagal would whip out his guitar and blues-riff Norris to death. Thunderbox would strike little Chuck down.
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