Thanksgiving in O-H-I-O

I always go back to my small hometown in Ohio for Thanksgiving. And people not familiar with the Midwest always ask, "What's Ohio like?" Usually I say, "Oh you know, Corn, Boredom, Corn." But as the years have gone by I've started to amend that answer to: "Oh you know, Corn, Boredom, Jesus."

Why Jesus? Because in Ohio, Jesus saves:

This is a gigantic plaster (some think it looks like it's crafted from butter) statue that sidles right up to I-75, right outside Dayton. Although I suppose it doesn't so much sidle as much as it LEAPS from the water -- ready 'n able to save all the godless, sinning drivers.

But who really needs the saving? Or, more directly, who could have truly benefited from the savings derived from not building the "Butter Jesus"?

I'm not going to get all global and talk about AIDS and Malaria -- but couldn't those local people have spent their money on, oh I don't know, local kids? Say, maybe, school kids in Dayton? -- a school district where only 30-some% of children graduate from High School. How many after school programs, good teachers, fun books does a butter Jesus buy?

And that's the problem: Christians are stupid. You don't agree? Look at that picture of Butter Jesus again -- smiling over the highway overpass. Now go ahead and argue your points.

What? I can't hear you. Butter Jesus is whispering something to me. He's saying: "The Bible's not real. I was just a dude. Please get me out of this lake..."

[this post is dedicated to my favorite Auntie. Love you.]