Lost: Soul

I don't know how many of you are working real jobs with real corporations that require you to make decisions that "challenge" your ethical sensibilities. I have the, um, opportunity to work with such corporations and make such decisions on a daily basis. And last week, I lost my soul.

I didn't notice it at first. There was no giant sucking sound, no deal with the devil. I was just going about my day, making corporate America slicker and richer, when it happened. *Poof* With one click of my email send button -- Gone.

How did I know I'd lost my soul?

On my way back from the Metro station that night I saw the most adorable puppy making it's way down the sidewalk. As the puppy sidled up to me I kicked it -- square in its stomach -- sending it right into the middle of the street. Nano seconds later, a huge dump truck turned the puppy into a slick spot on the road. My reaction? Disgust at the stray puppy hairs now stuck to the top of one of my Clark's.

Someone needs to organize a search party, and fast.

My soul is light green, with pink spots. It's about 2 feet in circumference, and has a velvety texture.

It was last seen outside the Corporate Headquarters of Exxon.

Shoot me an email if you find it. The puppies, children, flowers, and hippies in my neighborhood won't be safe until I get it back.