I'm just gonna hunker down at the Convention Center...

CNN is providing live coverage of the Coretta Scott King funeral. The reporter outside the gigantic Baptist church says that there is a line of "thousands" of people waiting to get into the funeral. Unfortunately, there are no seats left.

CNN Reporter: "They've been told that they aren't getting in. That there aren't any more seats. And it's cold out here. There's no use in waiting. They won't get in. Officials have told the crowd to walk down the hill to the gymnasium. There's plenty of room in the gymnasium."

Yeah, just go to the gymnasium... they'll help you there. It's warm, and safe, and fully staffed...

The crowd isn't moving, though. I wonder why...

Super Idiots

That advertisement was on again this year -- the one with the guy who works with a bunch of monkeys.

Confidential to the CareerBuilder ad "creative" team: We got it the first time -- he works with monkeys. Ha... ... ... ha.

The question begged by the return of that ad-formula is, why is that guy still working there? Apparently CareerBuilder sucks ass, and in an entire year couldn't match that guy up with a better employment situation. I mean, that's what I was thinking...

Idiots.

If they wanted to use the Same Exact Formula for the ad, they should have gone all out -- with something that made sense.

For Instance:

Have the guy burst into the office with a sawed-off shotgun or something semi-automatic. As the carnage is slightly muted, an announcer talks about those who haven't tried CareerBuilder and maybe cites some statistics about job-related stress.

The best part? The explicit violence and gore would be totally FCC-friendly because it's monkeys getting slaughtered... and as any Evangelical will tell you: Monkeys aren't (nor were they ever) People. Genius!

I'd end the spot with a shot of the guy, with a necktie around his head and covered in blood-splatter, eating monkey brains directly from a semi-live monkey (maybe that boss monkey, with his cigar still in his mouth!). Then, as the police sirens start to faintly wail in the distance, we cut to the CareerBuilder logo on a black screen, and the announcer intones:

CareerBuilder.com ... Before it's too late.

No doubt, that would have won Super Bowl Ad Of The Year.

For sure.

Metro Encounters III

Last night's commute home was plagued by a married couple who represent everything that is wrong with the state of our Union.

They were chubby, bland, blathering, fashionless, horrible mouth-breathers. They spoke to each other in hushed tones about last night's American Idol, plans for the weekend, and their hideously boring jobs.

And I could just tell -- maybe it was a scent, maybe it was experience -- I could just tell that these two were Breeders.

They'll produce some dotterel child that will coast through life with its self-esteem intact and its mouth agape.

As they exited the train the man made some joke about Jack Abramoff. His wife chortled.

I hate the fucking metro.