I’ll Father Your Children Right After I Deliver the Mail and Find Dry Land

Fucking Idiot Coworker (FIC): So [redacted] totally won the office pool on who the father of AN’s baby is.
M: There was an office pool?
FIC: Yeah. I knew she would win…she seriously does nothing all day. She probably did the fucking dna test herself.
M: […]
FIC: I knew you would be all disapproving.
M: I didn’t say anything.
FIC: I know what you’re thinking. Why is it any different than a basketball bracket? It’s totally deductive reasoning.
M: Who did you pick?
FIC: Kevin Costner.
M: […]
FIC: I stand by my choice.