Why is everyone on the Metro so congenial? Have you ever noticed it? People look at you. In the eye. Sometimes... they smile. What is that all about? Are we friends? Just because we're sharing this jarring, humid, crap-ass commute doesn't mean you can look at me IN THE FACE. You know why? Because maybe I'm dangerous. Ohhhh, but nooooo. No one is afraid of anyone else on the Metro.
The "personality" of the Metro is "friendly." How did that even happen? People here aren't friendly. They're cut-throat. Mean. Disinterested. Go ahead and touch me, family from Iowa... see what HAPPENS. In Tokyo you get molested on the train. In New York you get stabbed. In Boston... wait, why are you in Boston? Bleck.
Yet, in DC -- in DC -- you feel that it's okay to lean over and look at exactly what I'm doing with my camera phone. Leaning over to the point that I feel uncomfortable and put it away. That means, Dear Readers, that you will NOT be treated to an amazing picture of a 50-year old man wearing pants with no belt, a ratty blazer, a tie that was inside-out and backward (somehow), and a COWBOY HAT. You don't get to see that because some Nosey Nancy on the Yellow Line got all up in my business.
I'm going to adopt M's policy of LIFE for my Metro rides from now on. In fact, I might make a very special t-shirt that I'll wear every time I ride the 'tro.
Yeah... who's making eye contact now, Noserson?
Labels: Captions, Cutting You, Metro, Q is angry again, T-shirts
