Fuck Yeah, '07
While NTC was busy ringing in the New Year all classy-like ( read: no jeans) Pink was busy gearing up to start ’07 off right in the only way one really can start off a new year…with an ad for PETA.
Before I continue, I should probably offer some sort of sheep disclaimer like “Oh, I’m not talking about the sheep, I’m talking about Pink” and “Pink is awful, but those poor sheep."
Fuck that noise. Listen up, PETA.
I’m all for the sheep (seriously. Big sheep fan.), but you, much like the misguided NBC execs of ’06 (you are dead to me, Sunday night football) are seriously hard up for celebrity spokespeople. I’ve been thinking, and I’ve come to the conclusion that you just don’t know who is available. Below, please find a list of acceptable alternatives to Pink that can start immediately:
1. Chevy Chase
2. Joe E. Tata
3. Markie Post
4. That Welch’s grape juice girl with the incredibly round head
5. Willie Nelson
6. Any one of the Goonies
7. Scott Baio
8. Anyone from the Facts of Life
9. All the Smurfs (except Vanity Smurf—he’s in Queer as Folk this season)
10. ALF
Neither one of the Wahlbergs are busy, the entire cast of That 70's Show is available, and I’m almost positive that Lisa Kudrow is looking for something to fill the endless void....all of these individuals (and any incarnation of Menudo) are acceptable alternatives to Pink.
So here’s the deal: I stop buying wool. You stop hiring Pink for shit. Only then will the fight for the ethical treatment of animals and a better NFC East really have meaning.
Fuck yeah, ’07.
posted by M. @ 11:00 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
You can add Bono's name to the list when he finishes paying off third world debt with the tax savings he's accumulated over the years. Ireland's tax code provides a 100% exemption for an artist's income related to creativity/music publishing (though this changes for the 2007 tax year when anything over approximately $600,000 USD will be taxed). And. I believe Bono is expected to wipe out 3rd world debt sometime during the third quarter . . .
That's right . . . NTC's been reading up on developments in the Irish Tax Code.
bitches.
Let's re-cap that video:
Australians are awesome;
you can combat animal cruely with flytraps;
there is some kind of Middle Passage for Sheep;
people in the Middle East are cruel savages.
My answer to your sob story Pink?
MERINO WOOL DOESN'T ITCH MY ARMS WHEN I WEAR IT. FUCK YOUR SHEEP.
Can we have Scott Baio do endorsements as Bob Loblaw? He could even endorse products or events in the Bob Loblaw Law Blog.
Post a Comment
<< Home